I know I should be having more deep and meaningful thoughts! But I’m not.
Honestly until I started researching key words for my blog I didn’t realise that the term Teen on the web has connotations of mean, nasty, feral, dangerous, murderous, should be locked up before puberty-ness.
A Teenager however, is just a rebellious, annoying, irritating being, who sleeps all the time, loses things, doesn’t value personal hygeine unless there’s a member of the opposite sex involved, when they will take over the bathroom and live in there – and oh yes, they are all sex crazed beings.
My teens I may have mentioned before think I’m the one obsessed with sex – in fact, they told me ‘All you old people are obsessed with sex.’ Talk about the pot calling the kettle black as my mother would have said.
Then you get other things that make you wonder. Now I got a rather expensive lesson in memory training the other week. I forgot to transfer my wallet into the car I was taking into town to collect the stuff we evacuated due to the fire.
I was pretty ticked when I noticed, as I needed to get money out of the bank machine and couldn’t. Not doing two 40 min round trips in one day. Then got breathylised and asked to show my licence. Ah, no sorry not today. So the policeman involved — Senior Constable……………..
Eventually about 14 days ater when I started to cool down over the event, I wondered…………do they have Junior Constable’s? I’ve never heard anyone say they’re a Junior Constable. Mind you I don’t hang out with constables much, but you know I did used to watch TV when we had one, and when the aerial was still onthe roof. So does anyone know this?
Then today I’m looking at horse adverts as we need to sell the spotty boy and I want to know a) what other people are saying and b) what sells your horse instead of the other 3 thousand on there.
And then I’m thinking Intelligent All Rounder horse – does anyone advertise – Dumb Semi-rounder? Actually Dumb horses are not to be sneezed at.
When the riding teacher was doing something one day and the horse was thinking as fast as she was (and outthinking us sometimes) she said ‘He’s not a STUPID horse is he?
And it didn’t sound like a compliment just then 🙂 They’re much happier both being Intelligent now that he remembers his manners.
And then there’s the term Very Sweet………how many adverts do you see for ‘Mean and just plain Narky Nag?’
Bombproof………..wait let me get a terrorist and see……………No, really, if a bomb actually went off and my horse didn’t move – I’d be calling the vet to see if it was dead!
I remember one morning when I was driving home after a night duty at the Kids hospital, stuck in a traffic jam on the Sydney Harbour Bridge, and the news is on, and they say ‘Somebody or other, is in a graaaave condition.’
And I thought ‘Really? Grave?’ They use it to mean – really quite bluddy sick! But grave? You don’t want to go there unless you’re past being quite bluddy sick!
I’m not sure what it’s a sign of, tiredness? old age? boredom? But there are times when I can’t help thinking ‘If you mean that literally, we’re in big trouble.’ I’m getting worse now. There are times when I have to clamp my lips together and just open my eyes wide, and STFU.
But it’s hard.
It can be awkward too, if you should be saying something, about what they meant, but you can’t get past what they actually said.
I’m pretty sure I’m getting to that age where people apologise for you when they introduce their guests to you……because they don’t know what you’re actually going to say…………but they are d@mn sure they are going to need to be apologetic about what you say in the end.
I think I’m going to enjoy being a mad old lady……….Bring It ON~
Madam………..Don’t call me Madam, and I won’t call you Pipsqueak!