This is not a story about chickens posted in the wrong section.
THIS IS A MEGA MILESTONE!
One of my baby boys has left home! Techie 1 has gone! OMG – the time has come! I’m so excited, and just a little scared – as is he no doubt. But how exciting is this? I’ve finally turned out one fully cooked adult…..wooohooo happy happy dance! No, I’m not shedding tears of sorrow at my teenager leaving home.
He’s sharing with a friend, the friend’s dog, and the friend’s g/f at times. So no, he won’t be lonely. In fact, the first night we took 2 or 3 ute loads of stuff over and had dinner with them, and two mates. Hard to be lonely when you have so many friends!
My daughter was helping me load up the ‘bibs and bobs’ of a teenage boys life into the ute. ‘Look there’s room for another armful there, and there, and there’ from me. Finally daughter says ‘This is SO NOT “Packed to the Rafters” SHE was crying and he was only living next door!’ Yes, it’s true I’m excited. I get a study/sewing room now – so I can shut the cat out and he can’t pee on all the taxman’s receipts when he (the cat, not the taxman) is ticked off with me. But seriously, this kid has been a little hard to live with recently. He is 18 yo. He doesn’t exactly know what he wants to do with the rest of his life (although I can help with that one; clean your room, pack the dishwasher, do your laundry, etc I could fill at least one lifetime I’m sure.) But he feels like he needs to be ‘out there’ and ‘doing stuff.’
Now he lives in town if he’s late for work he’ll have a hike to get there, but it is doable. Not so from here. He can go out with friends for the night – and walk home. No more, ‘Can you pick me up from the movies (oh and a few other randoms as well) mum?’ If the other boy has a late shift with a Tafe day after he can ‘sleep over’ on the floor – and I won’t have to do the ‘roo and wombat dodging late night run so often! This is what I call a win/win situation. My daughter feels otherwise of course…..she want’s the other one to move out as well so she can have his room! 🙂
It’s true, said boy won’t have a lot of money to throw around. He works part time casual, and is attending Tafe. But he has this need to be in charge, to be heading out into the ‘wild, blue yonder’ of his adult life. I think some people do. Some people can take things slowly and ease into it. Some have to run head first in. He’s one of the latter. He has done his research though. Thank You Mr Google, for all the budgeting for the newly moved out and broke sites. Google has so much information (unlike your mother who we all know went know went nowhere, and did nothing her entire life.) We have hit the 2nd hand shops, the op shops, and the local facebook buy/swap/sell/free stuff sites. They are nearly there. I think we have the 2nd bed taken care of now. Really apart from a cheap mower at some stage (you mow my lawn I might lend you mine….you’ll do mine FIRST tho!) the only other thing is a cheap, cheap, cheap washing machine. They may start to get a bit ‘whiffy’ soon if they aren’t able to wash their clothes. Teen 1 used to tell me how he’d just use the laundromat, however he’s stopped saying that recently so I’m imagining that he has seen how much it cost per load?
A lot of people are saying ‘They are too young to move out and live on their own.’ I don’t know. I did kind of think that the first time the boy raised the subject. But when I told him he’d have to pay for this, that, and the other – he already had it all worked out. There was a bit of a speed bump when he realised he’d missed something but he’s sorted that. After they house-sat for someone for a couple of weeks it was obvious that they are able to look after themselves, and if they want to spend a lot of their earnings on rent/electricity/gas but be in town and walking distance to work/Tafe/activities, then it may be an option.
I also started thinking about ‘Way Back When’ I was 16 years old and moved into the Nurses Home, started a job, and was semi in control of My Life. Our board and food came out of the pay before we got our mitts on it! But my kids know bills come first whereas I didn’t have that much idea when I moved out. We tortured poor Matron of course. Poor woman not only had to put up with us at work, but she lived in the same building with us! I have felt so guilty about the anxiety we must have caused her! It’s a wonder she didn’t get an ulcer (our driving instructor did.) When I thought about it, I realised that as we are sending our kids on further and further in school and university, we are actually saying they can’t do things that kids/teenagers, lets face it, young adults, have done for many decades in the past. We are saying they can’t afford things. And sometimes we are complaining that ‘Kids always want the best, aren’t content with everyone’s 2nd hand stuff, like we were!’ Well, you know if I was starting my working life at 20+ and had a hefty salary and no one but myself to spend it on, I too might want to get the best of everything. When you’re younger, broker, and just filled with the Joy of Life, you can enjoy living with other people’s castoffs.
I went to see a couple of places with my son just to check out things like heating, ovens/grillers and screens on windows. But with the place they got they asked did I want to come see it with them? And I declined. I did go when they signed the lease though. I had to because I needed to give one of them some money to make bond until payday. But also because I wanted to make sure that there was nothing unexpected in it. It’s great that they can have the dog! He’s a lovely dog, but I’ve got two already.
It’s a little bit scary – hoping they don’t p-off the neighbours with loud music. Living in the middle of 90 acres may mean that your mother is the only one complaining about the noise – but when your neighbours are less than 9 metres away it’s an Entirely Different Matter! The Real Estate Lady gave them the information about TIGA which is a list for ‘feral renters’ that goes nation-wide. You so don’t want to get on that list. I wanted to ask her if there was a TIGA for Feral Real Estate Agents as well because you do find out about them when you start renting as well. I didn’t though, I was very good, just grimacing with pain as I bit my tongue
Another good thing is the ‘Room Clearout.’ Not only did the boy moving out clear his room of stuff he couldn’t part with before, but the boy who is staying home and saving his money did the same! Bargain! I have to find a home for the Meccano and some other building things and the rest went to the tip, the op shop, the Buy/swap/sell site. There’ll be a cleaning out of mum’s room now, of all the things that had no place to go and ended up in there. Really it couldn’t get much better.
There’s one thing I’d like to tell parents of teenagers who are moving out of home…if you can’t afford a removalist, learn to tie knots like a truckie!
No I’m not planning to abandon him entirely, but he’s in charge of it now, I’ll be back up.
Bon Voyage Boyo – have an Awesome Life.
He’s a big boy now – he has debt! Well, not debt exactly but commitment to rent and utilities!