OMG my daughter is FOURteen! FourTEEN!

Yes, I know she’s technically been a teenager since last year when she turned thirTEEN – but I’m a little slow and it’s taken me awhile to become fully terrorised!  Yes, I know that being a girl she has actually been behaving like a teen since she was 3 years old!  But I just don’t have great recall about last year when she turned 13.  Earlier today at work I was showing people the cool card (a bit omg you’re a lovely person – but with the humourous non-vomiting wording – I just hate those sucky-sucky makes me want to spew cards) and the watch on a chain with a persian cat on the front present I got her.  Well, she really got a red and white spotty @rsed horse with super charged teenage attitude for her birthday – but this was just a little ‘on-the-day’ present  Someone at work said – OMG I can’t believe it’s a year since you were here showing us the ‘Incredibly PINK mobile phone.’  Well, yes actually, it is a year now you mention it!  I’d almost forgotten that.

I’m really feeling a little spun out by being the mother of a 14 year old baby.  Honestly, my BABY is 14 years old.  Yes, it’s true Panda Eyes is 14 years old.  She hates being called Panda Eyes (that’s why I do it of course.)  I was pretty spun out when the twin teen boys turned OMG 18 years old earlier this year!  But my baby is getting so big – so teenager-ey!  So ewww adult!  Oh, and being a girl she is so, oh, well, you know….adult.   Without the exclamation mark mind you!

Let’s go back……….waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back.  Yes, I had contractions in the morning, and I took the two 4 yo boys to preschool (well who in their right mind wouldn’t?)  And I recall driving back home with contractions…..around 6? rounda bouts?  Soooooo much easier to drive in a straight line when you have a contraction let me tell you!  Frightened quite a few people that morning.  Then I attempted to do the ‘dietary’ assignment due a week later.  Sure, just need to coll……….ate……….the ………….freaking data, surely I can…….make…………this…………happe………n?  So I gave up for a while.  Then it was all ok.  Sent Ex off to pick up ferals from Montessori Preschool and take them to Kinder Gym at YMCA – GodBless their energy using souls.  Friend phones, so how’s it going, yeah ok……………no, truly it’s……good,,,,,yep….so yeah.  (Mother of 4.  Why are you SO QUIET?)  No, it’s ok real…………..lyfineImeanit……….So.

So, I’ve always wanted to apologise to the poor taxi man who was stuck in 3 lanes of sydney peak hour traffic beside me………….Honestly,I didn’t mean to frighten the Beejesus out of you!  I put a teatowel over my head to save you the agony, but that traffic is so……………freakin FERAL!   And to Denise at the Birthing Centre……….I love you!  I never told you and I’m sorry.  Chocolates just don’t cover all I feel for you.  Champagne, chocolates and a holiday in the Bahamas with a winning lotto ticket, and a Better Homes & Gardens Makeover wouldn’t really cover it, ok?  Just so you know.

And you know?  14 years later here I am.  A midwife.  Doing a Prenatal Class the night before my beautiful daughter was born.  And getting up early the next morning to  another Happy Birthday Event.  And wondering……….how the hell I got this far.  And how the hell I got such an awesome girl to parent.  And how the hell I’m sposed to make these new ‘parent’s to be’ understand how Hard, how Stressfull, how Impressive, how Awesome, how Totally Mindblowing this task is!  It’s the Best, It’s the Worst, It’s the Most Awesome Thing You’ll E ver Do in this Life of Your’s.


And then go have a meal at the Local Chinese Take-Away with a Woollies Mud Cake to follow.  And possibly a glass of white or red just for fun.

Here’s to all our children, all our powers to make them Awesome!  As they all are.



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