I don’t. I don’t want to know either. I do read my horoscope if the paper is in front of me – I also read the ‘Things for sale’ even when I don’t have any money or don’t want to buy anything. You just do. I don’t buy the paper though, just look at it in the coffee shop of at work if someone brings it. I look at a Tarot Card, or an Angel Card if I’m bored, or if I’m wondering whether something is a good idea or not. Not because the answer will definately be there…more that if the card tells me one thing and I’m still keen to do the opposite it helps me realise what I want to do the most. Kind of like having someone to be the devil’s advocate in an argument.
I don’t want to know all the future holds. It’s like knowing what you are getting for Christmas or your birthday. You might still enjoy whatever it is, but there’s not surprise, no exciting buildup, no hopeful wishing. So you will get what you want, or not. I always liked not knowing what my children were going to be ie boys or girls. It proved impossible not to know with the boys – the doctor read out the sex of them without even asking if I wanted to know. Yes, that’s right I will never forgive him for that!
In the big picture, I don’t want to be forewarned about all the good and bad things to come in my life. Or yours for that matter. I want to take them as they come. I want the good things, the happy things, the interesting things, the funny things to creep up on me unexpectedly just as much as the bad, sad and hard things. I want to remember when the sad things come around that there is many more good things to come, I just don’t know when. I don’t want to know when I’ll die either, thanks. I’ll take that as it comes too. If I forgot to say goodbye first it won’t be the end of the world. As for what comes after death. There’s so many options and some of them tiring to think about. If you do God, then you’ll probably be worried about whether you were good enough to go up. If you believe in reincarnation you’ll be wondering what you have to come back for next time, and I’m feeling a little tired so the thought of having to come back again and again doesn’t really strike me as an exciting prospect either. There’s always nothing ever after – a d@mn good rest. Sounds like a reasonable option if you’ve had a long and busy life I guess. I think I’ll just take that as it comes as well.
Why am I thinking all this? I’m reminding myself that life isn’t just about the unexpectedly bad things. I’m remembering the unexpectedly good news my friend had the other day after the bad news the few weeks before. How many good things, how many enjoyable moments there are in a day, a weekend, even in an hour. I know you have to take the rain with the sunshine, the good with the bad. Just that some days you need to remember as many good and lovely things as you can to remind you that life is a balance in the end.
Here’s to the endless blue sky; the clouds banking over the mountains; the horse who jumps the jump at the last moment instead of dodging around; the dogs who run through the bush with such glee on their faces; the one who comes back wet via the dam; the clothes that got dry; the wood that’s waiting; the cat asleep in the computer chair; the kids that don’t need picking up from town; the kids who get out of bed in the morning, and the ones that don’t. Here’s to letting the dogs in to sit on the lounge when I get up to change the tv channel; a good book; slow internet; neighbours and friends.