I rather like to know that I’m up to standard at whatever I’m doing. I like to know that everyone is not kilometres ahead of me.
Other than that, I’m just not a competitive person.
I find competing with others all the time annoying. Depressing even. If I win hands down, then ok, I’m good – but I feel sorry for those who don’t get that feeling.
I feel really sorry for those who don’t ever try because they are afraid of losing, afraid of not being the best even (like 2nd is not good enough?) and for those who feel that they will never get there, so sink lower in their own self esteem each time a competition/exam comes up.
You’ll most probably know that I don’t love the whole let’s all compete against each other from kindergarten/prep or even before. Because kids need to learn to compete….you’ll probably know that I’ve always felt that kids should learn to enjoy themselves; believe in themselves; have fun being themselves; and just plain feel good being themselves. Plenty of time for learning about competition later in life.
I don’t know that you need to compete so much later in life either.
Just been to a Last Competition with the horsey girl and the Spot.
What can I say?
We got a 1st (but only in x rails, because the girl is quite anxious and the Spot is quite excited by jumps. The only, is because there are so many higher jumps that people can do…and competitiveness says you must always be aiming higher.)
I think I heard that we got a 5th in Flags as we were leaving.
Otherwise there was a whole lot of stressed people and horses around.
So much organising went into the event. And will be going on after.
So much organising and agonising by the parents, the kids, the horses.
There were quite a few hormonal teenagers telling their mothers what they thought, and sighs and gritty replies from said mothers.
There were a few horses who looked like they wanted to call quits before their riders did. Amazing how hard a horse will try for someone they are obviously fond of.
And I saw a young lady sobbing and sobbing at competing. I understand that she probably do that event very well at home, and that she might have wanted to do it at the competition – before she got there.
I seriously don’t feel that sitting in front of at least 20 riders and assorted parents and sobbing helped her become a braver, more self reliant person, able to cope with the competition of life.
I’d already said to my daughter that we’d go. That we’d do what she wanted to on the day. If she just wanted to sit on the horse and watch, then fine.
Just don’t whinge to me that you can’t do it, that you should, could, and so on. Do it, or don’t.
Enjoy it either way.
That’s not to say there weren’t any gritty remarks, and teen eye rolling, but we did ok I think.
I admit, when she came off the arena and said she should have done much better, it just wasn’t good enough…I told her to pick her chin up, tuck her lip back in, and SMILE! She did – not because she is so obedient, more that she was laughing at me!
Very tired today.
As I walk around, feeding chooks, filling in wombat holes (under the housepaddock fence, not their living quarters) and considering how I’ve had 3 days away from home. And I don’t feel at all relaxed, or full of the joy of life.
When we’ve been to clinics big and small. I’ve come home (whether riding, or just pit crew and float driver) I’ve felt just plain happy.
That things have been achieved; improvements made; and just plain relaxed and happy.
I really wasn’t made for competing. No matter how well I do, or my kids do; I just don’t get the real enjoyment from it, the real enjoyment that comes from doing something you love, and having a D@mn good time doing it.