Feral007

Revenge is Sweet!

My baby boys are 24 this month.  Wow time flies and all that, some of the years seems endless and harrowing.  In retrospect it was almost all good.

Almost being the keyword!

 

They are going paintballing.  Sounds like fun!

In the past I’ve given them doing things for birthdays.  18th was a Open Water Diving Course.

Back to paintballing.  I just checked out the site, to send some money up to cover some of the costs since there will be the two boys, a girlfriend, a baby sister.  And who ever else turns up.

Having a look at the site was confusing though.

 

There were packs that didn’t include entry and equipment (but did include gloves and groin protectors).

Packs that included that and 1,000 paintballs.  Packs that included 2000 paintballs!

How many paintballs do you really need?  Do you really want to be hit by 2000 paintballs x however many people are going?  OUCH, and DOUBLE OUCH!

 

I’ve seen how people move the first few days after going paintballing…and it was gingerly at best.

On the other hand, I thought, how sad to run out of paintballs while everyone else had 1500 left!  Talk about feeling like a sitting duck!

 

Then I started to have Evil Mummy thoughts.  Like….how much extra would I have to pay, to get some super sniper from the Delta Force, to shoot the boys good, for all those nasty teenage pranks they played on me?  How much, huh?

It appears that I’m not the only person who thinks like this – here’s a short excerpt from the section on Schools Paintballing.

 

You are completely camouflaged in the thick undergrowth, crouched low behind a fallen tree. You have a clear view into one of the entrances of the giant pyramid. Your comrade, Mr Fraser, signals that he has you covered from enemy fire; you can now move into the pyramid and take control.

Do you trust him, or is it merely his plan to seek revenge for your prank last semester?

 

And speaking with the Baby Sister, she wanted to know if there was Boob Protectors, which was a much bigger issue for her than a Groin protector?

Remaining Evil, and remembering being a Baby Sister myself, I wondered if there was any tips we could get so she could get a little revenge on the big brothers, for all those times they teased the crap out of her……

 

So I entered Live Chat, to interrogate the daylights out of the poor person on duty there this morning.

Let’s call him Jim, to protect his identity.

The information is as follows:

 

The body armour and the padded collar on the overalls should protect the upper body.

Due to hygiene issues, you have to purchase a new groin protector at the site.

You also have to purchase your own gloves….is that because they suspect hygiene issues there?  That the blokes are likes to scratch their balls with their gloves on?  In which case, why are women having to purchase new gloves as well?  Having seen those gloves I can tell you it is not an issue of someone picking their nose with their gloves on….no one, absolutely no one has a nose THAT big.

 

For Baby Sister – Jim recommended, Dip, Dodge, Dive, Dip, and something else.  Also, to keep in cover while all the lunatics shot it out between themselves, then to come out and win the day!  Cool, Jim, that sounds doable.

He also recommended that the Marshalls on the day be asked for tips before they started.  And if I was dropping them off, that I speak to the Marshall to get some help For the Young Lady….I suspect that Jim has a mother, and maybe an older sister, but not a Baby Sister, or he would know, that growing up with two older brothers, especially twin older brothers, means that she will not resemble A Young Lady while in the gamezone! Sometimes, even off the gamezone.

 

It seems, that the Boys may be in for a painful paintball pummeling, not only from the other team…but also from part of their own 😀

I should put in another $20 to the kitty so they can afford their groin protectors.

I did spend their teenage years trying to keep them from reproduction, it’s possible that at some advanced age, I may like to become a grandmother, and therefore, The Crown Jewels should be protected.

 

I had a conversation with one of the boys earlier today, which consisted of things like, how many balls do you need, are your balls included, is a groin protector included in the package, and you have to pay for your balls you know?

 

He said he’d phone me back later on today….probably feeling a bit faint after discussing his balls with his mother.  He’s always been a sensitive child!

 

He may have been faint from relief too, after inviting me to come along on the day, and I politely declined.

 

He was probably taking a bet that I’d love the feeling that I was still wanted, but old enough to decline, so I could live to walk, instead of limp, another day.

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL BOYS!

 

Love ya guts, and I’ll invite you to this post AFTER your sister has had a chance at revenge 😀

 

 

 

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