Nothing fits!

What can I say?  What comes to mind is mostly swearing atm. Kitchen Appliances this time.   The large hotplate on the electric cooktop has started shorting out the whole house.  None of the other miniscule hotplates does.  Why?  Well probably because the large one is the only one big enough to cook on really so it gets 90% of the use for cooking.  So would I replace it?  Why not!  Because there isn’t one the same size made anymore.  That’s why!  It’s true.  The top is 635mm and they only make them in 600mm or 750mm or 900mm.  You don’t want to get a new benchtop then madam – no I freaking don’t!   The benchtop is not zapping out the house, and undoubtedly the new size in benchtops wouldn’t fit the cupboards underneath it anyway because they are probably a new size as well – and eventually it all will refuse to fit into the kitchen, and the kitchen into the house, and, and, and I explode around then I think.  Did I mention I’m renovating the entire bathroom soon?  Hmmm, having second thoughts about that now.

Just so you don’t think this is the only thing that doesn’t fit in my life atm – the gurgling pipes got worse and the weather got better – so off I go to dig them up.  Really it’s not hard – there’s a large wet patch with even some suds on the grass when the wash cycle is on;  probably a good place to start.

Oh yeah!  I cracked the pipe digging it up – but hey it was leaking so bad beforehand it didn’t make much matter.  Whoever put that pipe in was a little strange.  So I have the option of digging up half the paddock and relaying the pipe.  A lot of hard work (although I’d go through a few kilojoules I guess.)  But I’d also have to relocate two of the horses so they didn’t trip and break their legs, and to do that I’d have to cart several loads of water to them as there is no dam there.  Or I could just work out a way to lay another pipe above the old ‘odd’ one.

Yep, that’s way I decided alright.  Yep, right up until I sorted through all my odds and ends of plumbing – and believe me there is plenty!  Black/white/brass fittings.  Some are 1 1/2 inch fittings, some are 1 1/2 inch reducing to 1 inch on the other end.  Some are 2 inch both ends.  Have a guess what I’ve got in the ground?  After scratching away the mud, rocks and dirt it’s a 2 inch pipe.  Lovely.  The grey corrugated hose I have is 1 inch.  The black irrigation pipe I have is 1 1/2 inch.   The only 2 inch connectors are 2 inch at both ends.

There is no way no how that I can repipe this today.  Of course when I found the hacksaw to cut the pipe anyway there was no blade in it!  Lucky for me the guy fixing the back door for me had a blade and loaned it to me.  So I have a pipe which no longer gurgles…..it just runs merrily down the paddock and the horses are wondering about galoshes.  There’s also a huuuuge big hole right there in the middle of the mud.  With a large empty tank over the top of it till I can get to the plumbing shop.

I’ve never had a good time in the plumbing shop.  Has anyone ever?  You’d think at the prices that plumbing supplies cost that it could be an expensive but simple expedition.  I’m soooo not looking forward to that part.  At least while you are slipping and sliding in the mud you can swear and curse and carry on.  I’m pretty sure I’m going to want to swear and curse and carry on in the shop as well.  I’m already sure that they are going to inform me that they ‘don’t make pipes that size anymore….or connectors that go from this particular size to that particular size’  I can just feel it in my bones!   Oh bluddy hell, I just hate repairs!  It’s always so difficult – even the easiest job becomes a massive event.


Please all think of me, and send calming thoughts throughout the day.  Thank you, thank you.  Freaking bluddy pipes!

As for renovating the bathroom…think I’ll just move first.  Bound to be easier and cheaper.

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