It doesn’t make sense.

Its been a hard week this week.  A friend who I met and knew online for quite a few years now died suddenly and unexpectedly this week.  Her youngest child (who we went through the pregnancy online and the birth) was only one year old.  Her eldest 14 yrs old.  I am an ‘older mother’ having had a life first and children second, so my youngest and her eldest are about the same age.  Young teenagers.  I think that’s what makes it so much more personal.  It’s shocking and sad in every way;  but when I see my daughter about to head into the turbulent teen years, and when I think of how my stepdaughter found life so much harder without her mum in the house – it breaks my heart for this newly bereaved teenager and it breaks my heart for her mother.  Every mother’s nightmare I think.  It was her daughters birthday this weekend.

I feel terrible for the whole family.  Although the teenager is not the biological daughter of the father – she has lived in this family and been loved so well.  I hope that what is left of the family will be allowed to stay intact to grieve together and have the support of each other.  The young mother and her partner loved each other dearly and were not ashamed to show it to each other and the world.  It seems a crime that two people who had so much together should be parted, when there are so many who don’t know how to love or show love.  These people made a family and were raising their kids;  while others simply get married and have children – so much love and energy and down to earthness – the phrase Not afraid to call a spade a spade has been used to describe her;  she’d more likely call it a ‘bluddy shovel’ and be done with it. 

She was not the sort of person I would say ‘Rest in Peace’ to – ‘Look out upstairs this woman knows how to love and how to party’ would be a better parting message. 

My heart breaks for the teenage girl, and three children yet to turn into teenagers.  So if you know a teenager who needs some kind words, a shoulder, someone to listen, or someone to teach them how to laugh again – be mother and help them through the hard years.  Some people have no mother, and others need more than one mother to get through it all.  Teenagers feel emotions so strongly, but are often least able to ask for help – give it freely and make the world a stronger place. 

Go in Peace and Party Hearty K.

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