Compost can be dangerous?

Well who knew compost could be dangerous? In summer it can be nasty unless you have a bucket with a dog proof lid on it for the compost – and a dog proof lid is so hard for humans to get off as well, that it is a pain to use. But this year we are in December already. A few hot days. Even two hot weeks, I think, I remember from spring? But we are back to 4C and 5C overnight temps. So really not many blowflies at all – bargain! I’ll just whisper this (not many grasshoppers yet either, shhhh.) So I’m still using open containers for the food scraps to go out to compost. Those clear plastic things that shops love to put the vege’s in, in the first place, are great to put the vege scraps in while they wait to go out.

Red Kelpie
JYAKelpie - no thunder involved
I’ve mentioned the crazed kelpie before? This year we seem to be having many more storms than is usual for us. More of that wet stuff as well – another bargain! But the crazed kelpie is becoming more of a sook with age, and not if a cloud so much as passes in front of the sun he will start whimpering. He starts slinking around closer to the ground than normal, and rushing to stay with you – except when someone opens a door – then he streaks through before you can blink. The first, faint, distant rumble of thunder….and the d@mn dog is in through the cat flap. When you look at the size of the cat flap (only it’s a cat flapless really because of a previous dog) and the size of the dog, you can’t imagine how he gets through. I’m expecting him to take the doors of their moorings one of these days.
Broken cat flap
Cat flapless
And that’s when we come to the compost. If it’s on the table or the benchtops you know it’s easily accessible. But lately I’ve taken to putting it in the sink, or even in that half sink that is really pretty useless. I thought it would be less accessible, and less easily flicked into the air by Just Your Average Crazed Kelpie. But no, it’s not either of those things. Came in from the garden the other day to find the potato peels and capsicum seeds all over the kitchen floor.
Cat and dog together
Comparative sizes
So not impressed! Cleaned them up again and sent one of the kids out to the compost with it.
The trouble with potato peels are that they aren’t very visible on a vinyl floor. So yesterday morning I was zipping around the kitchen, turned to the fridge to get lunch out for work, and splat! Me, on the floor feet in the air. And pain in the ankle and foot. I hate that! One of the teens was doing a good job of not laughing (well I know it looks funny) and offering help. I needed a good cuss before I could get up. Trouble is that when you’re in a rush you don’t realise how much it hurts till later. So got to work and had to put a bandage on as it was painful. Went out – by the time I got back I could hardly hobble across the road. So put it up with ice. Really it didn’t look very swollen at all; but hurt like the blazes. So thought it may have been broken. Spent most of the afternoon in ED wishing I’d brought my work with me as it’s not only boring but you know you’ve got so much to get done!
Saw Young Dr Monosyllable. Honestly I was very good! I only cracked one joke, and I didn’t call him ‘SonnyBoy’ or ask him if his mother knew he was out? You so know you are getting old when the Dr’s and the Police look like they are in a Primary School Play and just dressed up! Obviously I am not the only person who is limping around lately, as there are no crutches in my size (medium) left I either have to grow 3-4 inches, or crouch down. I’m really hoping that the chemist might have some to hire. Or I might need to borrow one of the kids skateboards so I can ‘skate, clomp, skate, clomp’ my way around. I hate being immobilised. Once we found out I couldn’t get crutches one of my work mates wondered if a zimmer frame might be the go? But I’m pretty sure my house and yard is not ‘zimmer friendly’. She also offered a catheter……….she made sure she was out of reach when she said it though! I’m pretty ticked as I have a massive lot of work that needs to be done this w/e – and most of it requires me to be able to stand on two feet. Murphy’s Bluddy Law!
Spose I could have called this post ‘Carbs are bad for you’ or ‘Dangerous Carbs’, ‘Carbs in the Kitchen’ even ‘Don’t slip up on those Carbs!’ I’ve always felt people who are Carb-obsessed are a little strange and might benefit from some time with Mental Health? But now I’m starting to wonder what I can replace the potatoes in our life with! What skinless food is safer than a potato? It may be that I just have to replace the blond potatoes with the red ones. I may spend my immobilised w/e peeling red spuds and laying the peel on the lino to see how visible they are? It’s possible that if any of the neighbours drop by and see that, and I will be on the receiving end of a few probing questions. Can you imagine trying to explain your obsession with potato peels?
So, whilst permaculture, organics and so on are really great; good exercise, keeps you fit, gets you out into the wide open spaces and fills you head and your heart with joy (and with sadness when the bugs are involved), it’s also d@mned dangerous. Careful with your compost – if it’s not sitting invisibly on your kitchen floor waiting to trip you up, it could be harbouring a snake wintering over in the warmth and darkness that a good compost creates. Frozen vege’s from the supermarket are starting to appeal to me…………….

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