Feral007

Bluddy Hard Work!

Slang words – it’s funny when you move to another area;  you notice all the slang.  Especially the’ cool dude’ shop-speak.  Well you do around here because all the snowboard retail shops are manned and womanned by cool dude snowboarders.  I believe ‘dude’ transcends the gender thing ie Chillin’ with the dudes’ does not mean there are no girls there.  Although if a ‘girly girl’ doesn’t like ‘chillin with the dudes’ it can be hard for a fella.   When we first moved here we learned the things that most people learn.  The kids learn the kid talk in the playground and the mothers learn the mother talk waiting for the kids.  Then we went to buy the snow stuff.  Yep, too easy, mate!

Sweet? Litte Angels? No!

 

With budgetry restrictions I perused the local snowboard shops.  some were more helpful than others.  I learned a lot.  Firstly, I learned about ‘pop’ – that’s snowboards.  You need some pop left in a snowboard if you want to buy it.  If there’s no pop then you don’t want it.  I learned that at a snowboard sale – where I also learned about Bush Eggs.  And it was all free!  Well the learning was.  I did have to pay for the bush eggs.

So off to the shops to suss things out ie whether we could afford it.  We bought second hand all-in-one snowsuits.  My friend said all-in-ones were better cos the kids couldn’t lose the jacket by taking it off and forgetting where they left it.  That made sense to me.  Then someone told me all-in-ones for little to medium kids sucks since they tend to drop the sleeves of their suit into the toilet everytime they go.  If you are getting an all-in-one especially but even just pants get the person to touch their toes.   Amazingly what feels very comfortable standing up can give you a very awkward wedgie when you touch your toes.  Since you spend a lot of time falling down and trying to get up again wedgie-less pants are essential.  I found out that if you spoke to the right person and you were a local you could end up with a better deal.  Unfair?  You try living in such an expensive town!  And since we are constant customers, and bring in more customers with our friends and family then it just stands to reason to have people want to bring people in.

Usually I let the boys loose in town after school for a few weeks to look at every piece of clothing, every type of snowboard, snowboard boot, snowboard binding.  Goggles, gloves, face protectors, beanies.  OMG beanies!  Anyway.  They could look, drool (not on the stuff  just near it), debate the qualities of it all.  And when they’d owned every piece in their own minds, they could work out what they could not do without.  After that we’d go to actually trying things on.  The budget narrowed the selection hugely.  The fit narrowed it again (when you’re short and have big feet it’s hard to by a board.)  Then we’d start bargaining.  Because you could only bargain with the person who ran the section we’d turn up at 7 or 8 pm sometimes to start the fit and bargain.  The shops are open 24/7 in full on snow season.  And when you’d narrowed it down to the items needed and wanted and afforded………..I’d pull out the purse and go to pay.  And what did they say every time?  Too Easy!

Too easy?  Too freakin easy?  Maaaaaaaaaaate!  It’s been freakin torture!  It’s been freakin forever!   I feel like I live in your shop!  Should I send foster papers over for the boys since they are here more often than at home?  Too easy – you’re mad!  Luckily I’m a Calm Blue Ocean person so I don’t resort to violence – but ‘Too easy’ makes my eyes go squinty, my jaw go hard, and you might want to take at least one step back….just saying.

The other little regional gem here is ‘Sweet.’   I’m still trying to find something ‘sweet’ about parting with my money.  It always seems to be right about then that they say it – Sweet.  Too Easy………..you’re living dangerously now dude!   On the snow the term ‘Axed’ does not usually signify blood and guts and a mental health issue.  When you have ‘Axed’ a move – you done good!  You did that  turn (360) off a lump of metal (rail) and landed (axed it.)   It means you aren’t lying broken and/or bleeding beside the rail having landed on it or the hard ice on your face or your butt. You done good dude.   Oh yes, and depending which foot is front on your board determines whether you are riding regular or goofy.  Nothing wrong with being goofy if you’re a snowboarder.

 

Too easy? Too right! Some awesome action....standing behind the cutout at the top of the ski tube! Sweet, Mum!

I don’t hang out so much in the snowboard shops anymore – the dudes having gotten on in years.  Sweet!  And once they are earning their own money in sufficient quantities I’ll probably even say……………….Too easy, mate!

 

 

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